Wednesday, December 30, 2009

For who I am and for all I'm worth.

As another year draws to a close, it really doesn't feel as though 364 days have passed since 2009 began.
By this time all of us would be looking back at the bygone year and trying to figure out how it went for us.

I am.

Well... it was a fairly good year on the whole.

First, the things I am not very happy with-

1. I haven't put in enough effort on the work-front and the worst part is that it shows.

2. I haven't been in the best of health in the last few months and well, the mess food isn't helping the cause.

3. I have put on weight despite not eating well and it makes me tired quicker

4. I didn't resume music lessons this past year too when I so very much want to.

5. I have had far more temper tantrums than I would have liked. I have to learn to calm down at times.

6. I did not study to a level than can atleast convince myself that I am not in such a bad shape after all. This by far remains the worst thing that has happened to me this year. or rather I let happen to me. This guilt is something every researcher has to live with because no matter how hard one works, it never seems enough. But this is one mistake I must take care not to
make in the coming year.

I don't make New Year resolutions. I wonder why not. But if I do, I will have something more to be guilty about in case I c
annot abide by it.

Now let us get to the better parts of the passing year.

1. I have gained a little more mathematical
maturity over the past one year and a better way of looking at the subject.
I refuse to write more on my subject lest I bore most people.
One thing I have noticed is that there are only 2 kinds of people; ones who despise Math or ones who love it. It is very rare to find people somewhere along the midway.

2. I have spent reasonable amount of time at home, made use of my leave and been there to be together with my family. I completely understand the importance of physical presence.

3. Given the feeble mobile network that I end up with wherever I go, I have tried my level best to keep in touch with my family and friends. I waste time on the internet.. a whole lot of it. But I also used it to chat with my loved ones- family and friends- and mail them often. I believe that the best gift you can give people who love you is your time.

4. I have tried to read general stuff - not pertaining to my research- whenever time permits (and at times when time does not permit) and let myself feel good about it.

5. I have started blogging which lets me write down all that I keep wanting to write about. But I still do write some stuff and discard it afterwards for lack of interest in finishing it later. As my confidante suggests, I will try to mend my ways in this regard.

6. I have in my own small way helped quite a few strangers not exp
ecting anything from them and boy, does it feel good!

7. I have learnt, in a hard way, to forgive people. I am usually not a person who keeps grudges but some things I find difficult to forget. But I decided at some point that these things I will not hold against them.

8. Yes, at the end I can quite happily say that I like the person I am turning out to be disregarding a few hitches here and there.

I feel it is quite important to appreciate oneself for some worthy deeds done. We end up chiding ourselves for almost everything we missed doing or didn't do well but we never seem to realize how bogged down we can get if we don't acknowledge ourselves for everything good.
Most of us crave for appreciation... ever wonder how happy it makes us?
Now, lets try and see how we feel when we applaud ourselves.
So, here's a toast for all the
good things that I have done.
Wow that does feel great!

There are of course many things I am not happy about- of mine and others'. But we must herald the new year with good feelings. Hope that the new year would be better than the one that culminates. So rather than crying about how bad it was, let us keep faith that the new year will usher in a whole lot of happiness and peace for everyone.

Let us look at it this way. If the last year was terrible, the new year can't get worse. From here it can only get better. (Strictly meant for some self-confessed pessimists.)

So here's wishing all of you... and your friends and
family a very happy, prosperous and safe new year.