Homemaker

This is a term that most people around me began to use by the turn of the century in place of the age old term 'housewife'. I have always had a strong dislike towards the use of this term. I guess I felt that each member of a household is a homemaker; what home without each of them.

But of late I have realized there's actually so much truth in calling the lady of the house 'The homemaker'. Yes, she makes it a home. She is home.

Everything keeps changing. Our lifestyles, our attitudes, our priorities. The only one thing that does not change is our dearest homemaker. Whether she is working outside of home or not, she is what holds the family together. Come what may she is our guiding force. She is our source of strength.

Since September last year I been trying to play this role and I guess I have been failing miserably at it. How do our mothers do it??? It is such a responsibility to be the focal point of the house.

Amma, I'm sorry. I haven't done justice. I have come away and left people at home drifting aimlessly. I know not what to do. How I wish I could be like you. How I wish I knew what it takes to make a home. To be home itself.

The End and the beginning

2011 is finally drawing to a close. The end of a very very long year. A lot of things have happened during the course of the year, more worse than better. Getting married after 7 years of courtship would be the only silver lining. Ideally the wedding should be one of my most memorable moments but losing my mother in law within a month of the wedding makes me never want to be reminded of it.

This year has seen the most drastic changes in me than ever. A different place, a transformed mindset, a whole new set of priorities and altered future goals... And I wish to believe that each is for the better.

I have realized that although I want to write about everything that has been affecting me these past few months, I am terrified that I, along with my family, might be tormented by reliving the entire ordeal for the umpteenth time. So I shan't talk about what we've been through.

I thought I'd write a post to make myself realize that things must go on. I shall continue ranting about other happenings around me. I need to get back to writing. I do it 'cause I feel good.

So, here's hoping that 2012 is a year of new beginnings for each one of us.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Anna Hazare and Anti-corruption Bill

For the past four days the main social issue that the average man in India (and Indians abroad) has been talking about is Anna Hazare and his fast unto death towards seeing the Lok Pal bill come into effect. It might also be the most googled keywords in the past week. All of a sudden, the whole nation seems to have taken notice. Yes, by far corruption is one of the most pressing issues facing the nation today. People seem to be frantically raising their voices in support of the bill and calling for meetings and candle light vigils to express solidarity. But I am really not sure what exactly we are supporting.

I mean yes, everyone wants corruption out of the system. But what is lacking is clarity of thought. We need not follow the crowd. I truly appreciate people who are against it and don't worry about expressing themselves. They are only bringing out a standpoint we might not have realized. Of course, it is a fancy thing that in a matter of hours we have realized our duties and responsibilities towards making our society a better place. But I fear that this enthusiasm is short-lived. In another week, the media will sideline this event and we would have forgotten all about it. What might remain of our stirred emotions of righteousness will be the facebook statuses and tweets. Let me be proved wrong.

I am somebody who believes that a nation cannot progress and cannot improve unless at least 80 percent of its people feel strongly about issues. One MUST have an opinion. Not a misinformed notion that everyone else feels is correct. But a inference that you have arrived at after reading and understanding the crux of the matter, the people it affects, the implications it has to society as a whole and all pros and cons of taking each side.

It is easy to see what has been happening. When Anna Hazare began his fast with the support of people like Kiran Bedi and Swami Agnivesh for uprooting an evil like corruption from the political system, one just HAD to take notice. It was obvious that if the movement is to garner support from all factions of society, it would almost be the most awaited social change in recent times.

But I seem to have my inhibitions.

The following is a note I read yesterday:

" So how many of you went for candle light vigil in support of Anna Hazare? How about corruption in personal level, the minimalist? How about corruption in the corporate level, the highest? Or do you consider that corruption exists only in political and bureaucratic levels? Do you consider the physicians who sent you for scanning even for minutest of a reason as corrupt? Do you consider "buying" higher education as a corrupt practice? Do you consider bypassing Dalits in which ever field you could as corruption too? Or is your anti corruption rhetoric caged in to utter disregard towards elected representatives? Where are you going, oh polity? Where is your sense?
First define corruption and then frame the bill. What is there in such flex board revolutions?
Vote against the corrupt, if you find, corruption as the biggest evil and then lament. "

[http://www.facebook.com/notes/sebin-abraham-jacob/pseudo-gandhi-and-the-romantic-twitteratty/10150207209219083]

He also speaks about how Irom Sharmila and her decade-long fast has been ignored by the very people. This part rang true because I was surprised by the number of people who have never heard of her. And even the ones who have only know her as a lady from the north east who has been fasting for more than 10 years. No one seems to even care for what she is fighting. Is it because the issue doesn't concern us? Is it because the North East is almost another part of the world?

Truly our attitudes are disgusting. We are happy in our own cocooned worlds where all that matters is hating work and yet dragging our asses to work every morning for we crave our paychecks that fund our escapades, parties, entertainment and beer every weekend. What a superficial existence, one would think! It is very important to be happy. Yes. But we do not let go of a chance to criticize others. Most of the time we are lamenting about dirty politics and how politicians are bastardizing the nation. Yet how many of us actually go and vote on the election day? I know of many who chose not to only because it is of no use! We have no right to bemoan the political affairs in the country. We get what we deserve. and we DO NOT deserve any better. Other than talking to each other about promises that have not been kept, do we even try to question the elected representative? I'd say we should. Why not? He is answerable to us and for all you know, he might. And when we begin to do so, they will stop taking an average citizen for granted. He must know that with power comes responsibility.

A friend was talking to me on Friday and I casually mentioned the beginning of Season 4 of the IPL. Though a cricket lover, I cannot care less for the IPL which is no more cricket but only a garrulous entertainment show. It was just a statement and I don't even know the teams. Suddenly, he gets worked up and says, 'This is the problem with YOU Indians. Since evening everyone has only been talking about IPL and not a soul cares for what Anna Hazare is doing.'

I am not irritated with him. He has at least made a start. Most people don't (much) care for issues. That is what scares me. It is our non-chalance that is a threat to the future of the nation. If we begin to worry about the problems, despite not being able to do much that I would say is a begining. We must all feel strongly about them. When we do, we shall not remain quiet. We shall all in our own ways voice our opinions. We may not always be right but once we discuss issues, we will be clearer. And when we are focussed and know what can be done at our level, we will work together towards it. Then things will start looking brighter. All hope is not lost.

Is this the only grappling issue we have? NO. Is his fast alone going to eliminate corruption in the political system or even help in bringing it down by half? I'd guess not. But one can hope that this is a begining. We must start somewhere. If this is what is going to trigger the youth towards a right direction, why not?

PS: I know that I am a pessimist and that the point that I mentioned will not go down well with most people who believe that righteousness is in conforming not questioning. Well, I care a damn. I have a conscience. And if I can answer that I have answered every other question.

Physical Disability

 It has been a long time since I wrote anything in my blog. It wasn't but for a want of ideas. More so because I had so much to say. Today there are so many grappling issues that I can think of. Yet I am not sure if my writing them here really serves any purpose at all.

  There is the problem of corruption that has formed cobwebs all over the nation. There is not a single person who hasn't been affected by it. It exists at every level only in different degrees. Then there is child abuse, caste, reservation and gender issues, poverty, inflation, the financial and social divide as the rich get richer and poor become poorer, lack of basic amenities for a huge part of the population, the poor standard of education and so on. Actually, anything. Everything. Name it and we have it! But I shall talk of all except one at a later time.

  I am a physically disabled person and don't feel bad about saying it. Whether I was born with it or whether fate changed its course, it isn't my mistake. So I needn't feel ashamed of saying it. I'd rather say it proudly that I have managed pretty well (with the help of people around me, of course). I know for sure that not a soul amongst the people who interact with me everyday are even conscious of the fact that I'm 'different'.

  While I'm at it, let me make myself clear. You can call me physically disabled for ,yes, it is the truth. You could also say that I'm physically challenged because many a times physical effort that is normal for you is a challenge for me. But I protest if one calls me differently-abled. I just hate the terminology. I mean yes, going by the fact that the majority is on the other side of the table does make me 'different'. But just because we live in a country or a world full of corrupt people doesn't make the few clean ones 'different'. Besides, if we don't provide every strata of society with opportunities to lead life 'normally', the disabled might well turn out to be a majority. We must remember that disability is both a cause and consequence of poverty.

  I have been very fortunate not to have faced any major hurdles in my life with regards to my disability. But this is only thanks to the background I came from. I was lucky to be born into an affluent family that could provide for my every need; financial and social towards being considered 'normal'. What about the millions who cannot? On one hand wanting to be accepted and wanting to help their families in contributing to their income. On the other hand, the dark reality that they must first hold themselves from additionally burdening their families. Even seemingly small issues like having a bath, going to the washroom, climbing the stairs, walking a short distance is but a challenge for many. And they don't have an easy way out. Infact, they no way out than to face these trials everyday.

  I don't know how much effort the government as a whole is putting in towards mitigating the problems of physically disabled. The one good thing that I see is that the number of disabled in India today will be known (take or give some) by the end of the 2011 census that has TWO questions on disability. The census officers have been trained well to mark these answers in particular. But they didn't seem to have marked whether the disability is by birth or as a result of natural causes later or by way of accidents. I would have thought that this could be a vital piece of information towards bringing down the number of people with disabilities. But I shall have faith in the people involved in the exercise; it is easy for us to voice our concerns and differing opinions while undermining the study they would have conducted before determining what questions must go into the questionnaire.

  We must first acknowledge that this is a major issue facing India today. Then increase awareness about these issues with regards to reaching out to all people with disabilities, helping them discover that there are many ways to overcome these challenges and providing for a society where they might not feel like outcasts. Yes, such things are happening today thanks to the colossal efforts of a large number of individuals. But an average person still finds it difficult to learn of all the support he can get in achieving a normal life sans difficulties that can easily be overcome if we collectively put in some effort.

  I shall wait until we have the census count and then talk about what we could do about this. Being as lazy as we are, too bad there isn't an easy solution for this problem.

PS: All references made towards disabled only refers to physical-locomotor disability. Visual, mental and others are faced with huge challenges in themselves some of them not unlike what have been indicated above.

Photo courtesy: http://vivecakohphotography.photoshelter.com/gallery-image/West-Park-Asylum/G00009A4LUQjpRfo/I0000M4l68l2u1Cg

Jennifer

Jennifer was warming up for the 200m sprint at the finals of the National Athletic Meet. Running had been Jenny's passion ever since she could remember. Initially, she would effortlessly outrun her classmates. Gradually, with guidance from her school coach she would win most track events that she enrolled for. But now, this was one of her biggest challenges and she wanted to win this like never before.

She took her mark, closed her eyes, said a silent prayer and focussed her entire concentration on the next few moments that would turn out to be the most consequential seconds of her life. As soon as the signal went off, she felt herself lunge forward and felt herself collapse to the ground.

When she opened her eyes, she was at a hospital with her mom and dad at her bedside. She asked to be told what happened. The look in her father's eyes told her to expect the worst. She learned that she had had a stroke that left her paralyzed waist down. They would try to bring her back to as much normalcy as possible but she wouldn't be able to run again.

Jenny woke up in shock. It took her time to realize that it was only a dream. Yet she wouldn't calm down. This wasn't the first time in the past few months that she'd had a similar dream and everytime she felt traumatized. As though it happened to her every single time. She drank some water, splashed some on her face, sat gazing at the moon and ruminating over her dream. After a while she picked up the Jeffrey Archer novel she had been reading and felt a little lighter.

The next day was very tiresome with a lot of exercises and physical exertion. Jenny was thoroughly exhausted when she went to bed. This time she dreamt of herself gearing up with her teammates for the relay. They were expected to win this time too as the very same team had been winning the last three times. The others were better than her and she was determined not to let them down. She was to run the third leg this time. Once she caught hold of the baton, she ran as though her life depended on it. When she reached the changeover box, the only thing she saw was Rhea's outstretched arm. Then before she knew what happened, she fell on her back.

Jenny woke up crying. She knew what the rest of her dream would be. One dream. A thousand times over. She was sweating profusely and trembling ceaselessly. She was frightened to sleep. She couldn't tell anyone. She decided to let herself cry for once. To let go. To help herself forget. To let herself not dream of it again. She would not think about it for now. She had to calm down. She had to save herself from falling apart. She said a prayer and pulled out her iPod. Music had always been a great solace.

The next day Jennifer had resolved to reconcile her toughest enigma. She allayed her fears. She knew she could handle it herself. All she had to do was control her thoughts. Before going off to sleep, she meditated for a while and felt a sense of tranquility. She thought of the most beautiful things. Her pillars of strength, her parents, her brother, her family, her friends and strangers who became her biggest sources of support and encouragement. Her world was too precious to taint with such delusions. She wished she could sleep without a dream.

Yet, that night she dreamt. Of the most beautiful place that she had ever seen. Of paradise on earth. A lush green meadow, the blooming flowers, the bright shining sun, the clear blue sky and the most pleasant breeze. Jenny walks in enchantment soaking in the splendor of the moment. She breaks free of all clasps, she frees herself from all constraints. She begins running. She feels the breeze break at her lips. She feels the ground beneath her feet. She holds her hands out open conceding herself to the forces of nature. She feels her legs moving swiftly and her heart beating in ecstacy. She feels liberated. She runs and runs until she begins to feel lighter. She feels like she's flowing in water, like she's flying through air. She smiles. The girl with the most beautiful smile. Jennifer.

Jenny woke up smiling. She felt happier than she had in months. She knew she had conquered her biggest fear. She knew that nothing could weigh her down in life ever again. She would transcend every obstacle and reach the zenith of happiness.

She got out of bed and pulled herself into the wheelchair. She moved towards the window and the moonlight that filled her room. She thought of how she woke up one morning to find her legs not moving anymore and how her world came to a standstill. How she went from being a star sprinter to a courageous disabled person. How despite months of exercises and physiotherapy, she could do no better. How she still dreaded sleeping every night for she knew not what misery would await her next morning. How she wanted to prove how strong she was by not telling anyone her deepest darkest fears. How she yearned to feel her feet touch the ground. How she wanted to feel the thrill of running again. How she struggled to shake off her nightmares that made her suffer night after night.

She got all the answers this night. She had felt once more the joy of running. She would spring back to life, she would make her biggest weakness her greatest strength. She would learn to be proud of herself. She would help others help themselves. She would tell them her pain, her angst. She wheeled herself to the table and began writing, ' Jennifer was warming up for the 200m sprint at the finals of the National Athletic Meet.......' She broke into a smile.