Why now?


If only I had known
how much you'd loved me...

If only you had told me once
and I would've been yours

If only I had had the slightest clue
and we'd have lived together this life through

for I had loved you so but couldn't confess....
I wish I had; I'd have at least tried...


And now when I began to forget
you came into my life again..

and told me what you oughtn't to;
what now could I possibly do....

I am bound by another's love
its only him for me now...

If you couldn't then, why tell me now?
If you think it helps then tell me how...

for now I feel torn apart..
too much pain I bear in my heart.

I'd yearn for you and you never knew
hurt it did that I kept it from you..

But now our pain of longing hurts me more.
no, my love... we were.. but long long ago

now its just too late
blame it on me or on fate...

I love him so hurt him, I cannot.
it just isn't anyone's fault.

Now leave me alone, just let me be
we were probably never meant to be...

Don't talk to me, don't see me ever
cuz I cannot hold myself, I fear.

I cannot dream of us anymore,
I cannot wish for us to be one.

With a heavy heart and a tear in my eye
that is all I have to bid you goodbye.

I only wish you'd have opened your heart
and we'd have known...and we'd have lived...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

25 years as an amputee: Happy Silver Ampuversary!

It's been 25 long and eventful years today since my near fatal accident due to drunk driving by a truck driver and my amputation. Being a little girl then I would never have thought about the future but if my parents were to be told that this is where their daughter would be 25 years later, I guess they'd take it. There's no better joy in the world than making your parents happy. As a mother myself, I cannot fathom the pain a parent goes through when faced a situation of their little child having to undergo an amputation. The only positive then was that the infection didn't spread above my leg and amputating it at the hip meant I could still be alive. Today I’d like to appreciate the wonderful life and the amazing people I have been gifted with.  Having lived a fair share of my life in the cosy comforts of Dubai, moving to India gave me a cultural shock. The roads didn't have proper sidewalks, bathrooms weren't easy to use, monsoons were torrid cuz my ...
Read more

When I feel proud of myself... Part I

There are times when something triggers off a flurry of thoughts; it brings back memories of some life altering incidents in life. Such a thing happened to me yesterday. I had to visit a hospital to meet a friend's mom who had had her leg amputated. People who know me know exactly what would've gone through my mind. It was a month after my 8th birthday. It was on Onam day. We were to go to Pappa's place. While walking on the side of the road with pappa, a truck driver rammed into me and crushed my left leg. Its funny that no one has ever told me what really happened. I can only remember it as a film reel... with small portions cut off. I guess it is what I saw between losing consciousness. But for all I know I might've even dreamt these things instead! I am lying on the road with a wheel over my leg. People all around are yelling at the driver. He raised the accelerator. Amma is...looking.. ( I don't know what I took the expression as... I didn't even underst...
Read more

.. and just like that I've hit a landmark of 30 years!

Image
  24th August 1991. The day a lot changed for me and my family.  From being just another 8-year-old on an annual holiday to visit family in India, I turned into 'an inspiration' - I became an amputee who could probably not fathom what really happened. But 30 years later I must say that the accident and the amputation was what shaped the rest of my life in the best way possible. Because today regardless of what life throws at me, I have the strength of character, the will and the never-say-die attitude to see my through it. When I was thrown the biggest challenge, by far, in my life last year. It is only my faith and my attitude that helped me survive it. As always, I had to stay strong because that is all I knew to be. With all the love and support and prayers we received, my husband did survive and recover. We are on the path to a complete recovery and faith and strength is what will see us through. This post is not a grim reminder of what 'happened to me' and how I ma...
Read more